cuba likes his hanes this way

someone has to say something to put a stop to this. i mean, what the butt has happened to cuba gooding jr? at first he was [kind of] funny with the whole jerry maguire thing and his oscar speech, then he was decent [at best] with the men of honor and pearl harbor movies, then barely tolerable with the boat trip and radio movies. and now, he has become completely unbearable with the release of daddy day camp [the sequel to daddy day care, which eddie murphy wouldn't even touch, and that's saying something] and his new hanes ad campaign with michael jordan. but seriously, who makes these commercials? i didn't think jordan could do any worse, but this takes it to a whole other [lower] level. the first one they had wasn't that bad, but even then i thought, 'well, um, okay...' despite that, i gave cuba and mj the benefit of the doubt because jordan is fairly image conscious. here is the first of their commercials together.



so, is it me, or does cuba gooding jr come off as a little... gay? seriously, i haven't seen that same confused look on jordan's face since the 2001 nba draft. but like i said, i gave them the benefit of the doubt because cuba is just like every other man in the sense that he just wants to, uh, embrace another man and then proceed to rub his face in a guy's undershirt. and well, if that wasn't weird enough, the next commercial is just a little weirder.



this commercial brings up so many questions. first of all, who puts on underwear right when someone gives it them? wouldn't you wait until the next day to try it on, seeing how it would be a hassle to change your underwear if you already have a pair on? and why would michael give cuba some underwear as a present? i guess the relationship isn't as one-sided as i thought. maybe cuba's growing on michael or something. and when i thought it couldn't get any more awkward, well, it does.



one more commercial, many more questions. like why was cuba walking around in his bath robe? and why was cuba looking for michael in his dressing room wearing just his bath robe? this is pretty incriminating if you ask me. and when michael shows up and sees cuba, he doesn't really get mad, he is more like, 'not here, not now, cuba.' i'm just speechless as to what's going on in these commercials. they're just getting stranger and stranger. for all i know, the next one is going to have jordan telling cuba that he really doesn't like him and then cuba responding by busting open jordan's face with an oar just like matt damon did to jude law in the boat scene of the talented mr. ripley.

ultimately, i really don't know how effective these commercials are, but it needs to stop. no one wants to watch cuba gooding jr and michael jordan grab each other's butts [well, most people wouldn't]. trust me, it's just better to end their relationship right now before something crazy happens. cuba will still have an oscar, and michael, well, don't worry about him, he'll always have kevin bacon.