26 December 2008

movie forecast: valkyrie

editor's note: for a detailed explanation of a movie forecast, click here

it's curious that tom cruise has received so much public backlash even though he hasn't done anything illegal or immoral or scandalous. the only thing he has done to alienate the masses is zealously and shamelessly promote an eccentric religion, which as a side effect may or may not have resulted in erratic behavior. for example, michael jackson has collected criticism because of sexual abuse allegations, michael vick has received derision because of his involvement in dog fighting, and oj simpson has become a social pariah because he made naked gun 33⅓: the final insult, among other things. but all tom cruise has done is ask people to join his church. probably the worst thing that he did was call matt lauer 'glib.' yet, people react to him as if he eats out of a dumpster or performs illegal abortions with wire hangers. consequently, cruise's recent movies have relatively under-performed at the box office. while their disappointing performances can't be entirely attributed to an anti-cruise sentiment, it did have an effect to the point that many people did not go to see his movies simply because he was in it. it's as if people think they'll be brainwashed into believing scientology or contract gonorrhea just by watching one of his movies.

at any rate, the latest film to feature tom cruise is valkyrie, which is about an assassination attempt on adolf hitler during world war ii. when first hearing about this premise, i thought that tom cruise was going to embrace his growing villain reputation and tackle the role of hitler. instead, he does the opposite and plays the penultimate good guy as the person who is leading the charge to kill hitler. he even wears an eye patch most likely to gain sympathy from audiences. i ask why not give him a sickly kid with rickets to complete the effect? anyway, all things tom cruise aside, the main reason that i have high expectations for this movie is its director, bryan singer. with film credits such as the usual suspects, x2 and the underrated superman returns, singer is a director who is able to weave both intricate and interesting stories in a wholly unique style that doesn't sacrifice substance. with him at the helm, i can't foresee valkyrie will be any different.

prognosis : 8/10

19 December 2008

movie forecast: seven pounds

editor's note: for a detailed explanation of a movie forecast, click here

with seven pounds, will smith continues his streak of movies without the aid of one of his biggest co-stars: his moustache. in his last three movies [and four of his last six], will smith has been sans cookie duster. perhaps i am in the minority, and yes, i am more of a moustache enthusiast than the average person, but will smith not only looks more 'normal' with his lady tickler, he is an overall better actor when he has one. consider that in both i am legend and hancock, will smith went without his soup strainer and consequently both were subpar films, no matter what the box office numbers say. [especially hancock, that movie is unequivocally a steaming turd. and while on the subject of his appearance, why does will smith have 1920's hair in this movie? is he covertly working for lucky luciano?]

as for the actual movie of seven pounds, i have seen the both the trailer and its commercials a few times each and still have no idea what the plot of this movie is. the only thing i know is that will smith wants to favors for certain people and that he walks around on some island all day. rumor has it that the plot has purposely been kept secret because it would ruin the movie if revealed beforehand. with that being said, i expect seven pounds to deliver much in a similar vein to the pursuit of happyness, although i doubt it'll be as good. and i can think of at least one reason why.

prognosis : 7/10