u-s-a!! u-s-a!! u-s-a!!

VETERANS DAY, to say the least, is one day where america collectively celebrates and recognizes those who serve and have served in the military; it is a day to celebrate patriotism. and when i think of patriotism, i think of a man who [arguably] popularized the 'u-s-a!' chant more than anyone in american history. yes, i think of 'hacksaw' jim duggan.

for those who are unfamiliar with who 'hacksaw' jim duggan is, he is a professional¹ wrestler who has had the same [some would say tired²] gimmick of coming into the ring waving an american flag the size of texas while starting or perpetuating the 'u-s-a!' chant [and intermittently yelling things like 'hooo!!']. by no means was he a great wrestler, but his significance transcended his sport [or 'sport']. without him, crowds everywhere who love america and 2x4's may not know what to chant to show their patriotism. so today, i thank those who have served in the american military, both past and present. i thank the same people for their sacrifices and the sacrifices of their families. and last, but certainly not least, i thank you, 'hacksaw' jim duggan.

¹ the term 'professional' is used loosely, considering the it was 'not necessarily real.'

² i know, how dare i.

movie forecast: the ugly truth

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at first, i thought this movie was a continuation of the nbc tv hit, the naked truth, with katherine heigl reprising téa leoni's role of nora wilde. imagine my surprise when i learned that no such plans of making a the naked truth movie were in the works and that this is actually an original film. alongside katherine heigl in this so-called romantic comedy is gerald butler, who looks out of place when is wearing normal clothing instead of a loin cloth. i wonder if this has ever happened, where an actor is more believable and recognizable when he is wearing a hand towel around his waist.

as far as the actual movie is concerned, i don't know if it has anything to offer than a formulaic plot about a career woman in heigl who is taught lessons about enjoying life by a lothario in butler, who is of course taught lessons in fidelity by heigl. to hope that there are insightful moments of clarity about the nature of relationships seems to be a bit of a pipe dream, but judging by the commercials, even moments of comedy also seem to be few and far between.

prognosis : 3/10

movie forecast: knowing

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different nicolas cage movie, same terrible nicolas cage hairstyle. i have no idea why he insists on keeping his balding mullet, as if it were some badge of honor for middle-aged men everywhere. all i can say to nicolas cage is that his time to have long, flowing hair has pass. you're too old, let go, it's over. he needs give up on this dream, and basically take to kobe bryant's example of shaving his afro once he realized he couldn't maintain it with his receding hairline. i have no idea how no one in nicolas cage's circle has told him that he looks downright silly and is embarrassing himself with the look that he's cultivating. i'm starting to think that he has some crazy bet with drew gooden or deshawn stevenson about who can have the worst look ever.

as for the nicolas cage movie, knowing, it appears to be about a mathematician who is able to predict natural disasters based on a series of mysterious numbers. if this premise sounds familiar, it is most likely because it is similar to a previous film, the 2007 nicolas cage movie, next, which is about a magician who is able to predict two minutes into the future. i can understand why nicolas cage would want to remake one of his previous movies so that he could capitalize on his past successes, but i don't understand why he would choose to remake next instead of remaking something like the blockbuster national treasure: book of secrets or the thought-provoking ghost rider. [i am fairly certain a remake, not to be mistaken for a sequel, of national treasure: book of secrets with different actors surrounding nicolas cage in a different setting would fair better than any remake of next.] perhaps he is simply determined that this movie concept needs to be made until it is successful and will not stop until it does. i wouldn't be surprised that at this point in his career there is nothing that matters more to him and that he will remain stubborn about it. nothing, except for maybe keeping his mullet.

prognosis : 5/10

movie forecast: valkyrie

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it's curious that tom cruise has received so much public backlash even though he hasn't done anything illegal or immoral or scandalous. the only thing he has done to alienate the masses is zealously and shamelessly promote an eccentric religion, which as a side effect may or may not have resulted in erratic behavior. for example, michael jackson has collected criticism because of sexual abuse allegations, michael vick has received derision because of his involvement in dog fighting, and oj simpson has become a social pariah because he made naked gun 33⅓: the final insult, among other things. but all tom cruise has done is ask people to join his church. probably the worst thing that he did was call matt lauer 'glib.' yet, people react to him as if he eats out of a dumpster or performs illegal abortions with wire hangers. consequently, cruise's recent movies have relatively under-performed at the box office. while their disappointing performances can't be entirely attributed to an anti-cruise sentiment, it did have an effect to the point that many people did not go to see his movies simply because he was in it. it's as if people think they'll be brainwashed into believing scientology or contract a std just by watching one of his movies.

at any rate, the latest film to feature tom cruise is valkyrie, which is about an assassination attempt on adolf hitler during world war ii. when first hearing about this premise, i thought that tom cruise was going to embrace his growing villain reputation and tackle the role of hitler. instead, he does the opposite and plays the penultimate good guy as the person who is leading the charge to kill hitler. he even wears an eye patch most likely to gain sympathy from audiences. i ask why not give him a sickly kid with rickets to complete the effect? anyway, all things tom cruise aside, the main reason that i have high expectations for this movie is its director, bryan singer. with film credits such as the usual suspects, x2 and the underrated superman returns, singer is a director who is able to weave both intricate and interesting stories in a wholly unique style that doesn't sacrifice substance. with him at the helm, i can't foresee valkyrie will be any different.

prognosis : 8/10

movie forecast: seven pounds

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with seven pounds, will smith continues his streak of movies without the aid of one of his biggest co-stars: his moustache. in his last three movies [and four of his last six], will smith has been sans cookie duster. perhaps i am in the minority, and yes, i am more of a moustache enthusiast than the average person, but will smith not only looks more 'normal' with his lady tickler, he is an overall better actor when he has one. consider that in both i am legend and hancock, will smith went without his soup strainer and consequently both were subpar films, no matter what the box office numbers say. [especially hancock, that movie is unequivocally a steaming turd. and while on the subject of his appearance, why does will smith have 1920's hair in this movie? is he covertly working for lucky luciano?]

as for the actual movie of seven pounds, i have seen the both the trailer and its commercials a few times each and still have no idea what the plot of this movie is. the only thing i know is that will smith wants to favors for certain people and that he walks around on some island all day. rumor has it that the plot has purposely been kept secret because it would ruin the movie if revealed beforehand. with that being said, i expect seven pounds to deliver much in a similar vein to the pursuit of happyness, although i doubt it'll be as good. and i can think of at least one reason why.

prognosis : 7/10

movie forecast: bangkok dangerous

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one of the more interesting developments in the current world of film is none other than nicolas cage's decision to sport a balding mullet.¹ to prove that it isn't just for his latest film, bangkok dangerous, he has proudly worn it with reckless abandon in his two previous films, national treasure: book of secrets and next. i'm curious as to whether or not nicolas cage believes that it's a good look for him, because anyone who isn't associated with the nhl or nascar [or billy ray cyrus] would have to say otherwise.

other than nicolas cage's creepy hair, bangkok dangerous offers action that has little explanation. the only dialogue in the commercials consist of nicolas cage saying, 'my name is joe. this is what i do.' according to that advertisement, what he does is position his body against another man from behind and cross his arms around the other man's neck as he aims a gun in each hand. not only is this confusing, it's a little... awkward. in any event, bangkok dangerous, which is one of the better movie titles, should provide decent [and unrealistic] action as well as what has become a staple in nicolas cage's movies, namely a fair amount of unintentional humor.

prognosis : 5/10

¹ - not to be confused with a bald mullet, which is also known as a skullet.

movie forecast: the mummy: tomb of the dragon emperor

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i was taken aback when i saw the trailer for the mummy: tomb of the dragon emperor since it has been seven years from the mummy returns. i suppose john hannah, who plays brendan fraser's brother-in-law, needed some work. i don't think i've seen him in any other movies except the mummy movies. is this the only character he can play? is it because that character is exactly like who he is in real life, kind of like how eminem can only play b-rabbit because he's just playing himself? is john hannah a wimpy, bumbling, opportunistic ninny in actuality?

another question is why do the characters in the mummy movies keep messing around with mummies and their tombs? i say they deserve whatever danger they bring upon themselves. anyway, in this third installment, brendan fraser and company are fighting against mummies again, but with a twist: they are asian. unexpectantly, the asian mummies consist of a decent cast of jet li, michelle yeoh and vanishing son superstar, russell wong.¹ so at the very least there should be some good action sequences. in the end, the mummy: tomb of the dragon emperor should not disappoint fans of this franchise, and may even pleasantly surprise a few of its skeptics. [and on a final note, brendan fraser's son in this movie looks to be about fifteen years older than he was in the last movie, yet brendan fraser's or john hannah's character haven't aged at all.]

prognosis : 7/10

¹ - it appears as though russell wong has finally recovered from a serious injury where he broke every vertebrae in his spine while filming romeo must die.

southern california's power surge

editor's note : the number following a player's name indicates the ranking of said prospect within the organization according to baseball america.

new york yankees receive : of xavier nady and p damaso marte
pittsburgh pirates receive : of jose tabata [#3], p jeff karstens, p ross ohlendorf [#9] and p dan mccutchen

analysis : by trading for xavier nady and damaso marte, the yankees actually make a sensible move, instead of their usual one based on name power. nady will help an aging and injured outfield, while marte will solidify their bullpen as their main set-up man. by trading away nady and marte, the pirates, at first glance, look like they got fleeced yet again. but by getting two of the yankees better prospects and a fourth or fifth starter in karstens [in addition to another prospect in mccutcheon] did well in helping a rebuilding process stay on course for their goal to be over .500 by 2018.

the grades : new york [a-] | pittsburgh [b]

milwaukee brewers receive : 2b ray durham
san francisco giants receive : p steve hammond and of darren ford

analysis : i'm not sure how much of a difference maker ray durham will be for the milwaukee brewers for rest of the season, except that it will push rickie weeks to play better. with that being said, the brewers didn't trade away much to get him. the giants received two players who are not ready to make an impact at the major league level yet, but like most teams out of contention, they don't need an aging player in a contract year.

the grades : milwaukee [c] | san francisco [c]

los angeles dodgers receive : 3b casey blake
cleveland indians receive : p jon meloan [#8] and c carlos santana

analysis : the dodgers have found a veteran third baseman to take over a position that has been a hole all season long, although casey blake isn't anything close to a long term solution [or even a short term solution]. but he will bring stability and experience to a position that has lacked both this season. with their playoff hopes all but gone, the indians decided to expedite the rebuilding process for the future. by trading blake, they received a notable prospect and a young catcher who will need time to develop.

the grades : los angeles [b] | cleveland [b]

anaheim angels receive : 1b mark teixeira
atlanta braves receive : 1b casey kotchman and p steven marek [#6]

analysis : the anaheim angels addressed what many considered the one thing that they needed, which was one more good hitter. by getting/renting mark teixeira, not only have they addressed that need, they exceeded it. teixeira will give vladimir guerrero the protection that he has been lacking [or vice versa], thus strengthening an angels lineup that seems to rely too much on small ball [although their record would suggest otherwise]. on the other side of the trade, the braves were able to get an everyday player in casey kotchman, who peter gammons ridiculously says is just as good as teixeira, and a decent pitching prospect for a player who was probably going to leave as a free agent [most likely to baltimore].

the grades : anaheim [a+] | atlanta [b-]

new york yankees receive : c ivan rodriguez
detroit tigers receive : p kyle farnsworth

analysis : i have no idea what the tigers were thinking. yes, they needed relief pitching to bolster a bullpen that has either been ineffective or oft-injured, or both. but is kyle farnsworth that much of an improvement? history says no. on the other hand, the yankees were able to get a considerable upgrade at the catcher position. although ivan rodriguez is in the twilight of his career and no longer the player he once was, he can still make a considerable difference during the yankees' playoff push. furthermore, the loss of farnsworth is barely a factor since the acquisition of damaso marte made him expendable.

the grades : new york [b+] | tigers [c-]

chicago white sox receive : of ken griffey jr
cincinnati reds receive : inf danny richar and p nick masset

analysis: i'm not sure as to why the white sox would want to add ken griffey jr to a crowded outfield, except that gm ken williams is still trying to figure a way to win the 1997 world series. instead, they should have traded for either starting or relief pitching. true, the white sox didn't give up much, but it could've been towards one of those needs. as for the reds, they clear ken griffey's contract and aging body from the team as well as add more pieces to the rebuilding process.

the grades : chicago [c+] | cincinnati [b-]

florida marlins receive : p arthur rhodes
seattle mariners receive : p gaby hernandez [#5]

analysis : left handed relievers are always a valuable commodity, as this trade proves. the marlins traded a promising pitching prospect for a journeyman reliever. are the marlins getting equal value based on talent and/or potential? probably not, yet it was a move they felt that they had to make. meanwhile, the mariners received a player who could be far more valuable than arthur rhodes was to the team.

the grades : florida [b] | mariners [b+]

los angeles dodgers receive : of manny ramirez
boston red sox receive : of jason bay
pittsburgh pirates receive : 3b andy laroche [#2], p bryan morris, of brandon moss and p craig hansen

analysis : in getting manny ramirez, the dodgers may have had the steal of the trading deadline, with many thanks to peter gammons' fury. all they gave up to receive one of this generation's greatest hitters in manny ramirez was two prospects in andy laroche, who so far has disappointed in his chances at third base, and bryan morris, a low-a ball pitcher. not only that, the dodgers don't have to pay any of manny's remaining salary. they have finally found a legitimate bat in a lineup that is bottom third of the major leagues in almost all offensive categories. does this mean the dodgers will win the nl west? not necessarily, but it does improve their chances significantly. in exchange for manny AND two prospects, the red sox received jason bay, and as mentioned above, will be paying the rest of manny's salary this season. clearly switching manny ramirez for jason bay straight-up is a downgrade from a strictly numbers perspective, yet the red sox were the ones who gave more to get the deal done. despite manny's recent behavior, it's still a curious decision. though on the bright side the red sox will be able to keep bay until 2009 at a third of the cost and bay will be able to replace most of manny's numbers. they were also able to keep jason bay away from the tampa bay devil¹ rays. [the rays didn't get bay because they supposedly weren't willing to pay the high price and thought that rocco baldelli² would essentially be their mid-season pick-up.] and finally, the pirates were able to turn jason bay into four prospects, which is a fairly good haul. though andy laroche couldn't win the starting third base job in los angeles, he is still young and has potential in future years. also, the pairing of the laroche brothers in pittsburgh will bring a good amount of entertainment. i can already imagine the laroche brothers cruising the pittsburgh nightlife hitting on teenagers with a bottle of pabst in one hand and a pierogi in the other. [with the laroche brothers reunion and manny ramirez hitting hollywood clubs with rafael furcal and andruw jones, this trade, no matter how it turns out, will go down in baseball history as greatest ever in terms of unintentional comedy.] along with andy laroche, the pirates received a serviceable outfielder in brandon moss and a potential closer in craig hansen. it seems as though the pirates are finally getting the idea of how to rebuild a franchise by harvesting prospects. now all they have to do is trade jack wilson once and for all.

the grades : los angeles [a+] | boston [b] | pittsburgh [b+]

¹ - satanic worship no longer available

² - speaking of rocco baldelli, with his latest injury simply being fatigue, is he aging faster than he should be? i seriously wonder if he has the same disease that afflicted robin williams in the movie jack.

don't ever underestimate the heart of the desperate

with the sacramento kings trading ron artest to the houston rockets for bobby jackson, donte greene and a 2009 first round draft pick, the western conference becomes more crowded at the top. the acquisition of artest definitely makes the rockets legitimate contenders to do more in the playoffs than lose in the first round. while ron artest deserves the reputation that he has, he is much more complex than a crazy person. for example, a fair amount of his salary has gone to friends and charity, to the point that he filed for bankruptcy. [i'm not sure if that's more foolish or generous.] and in 2006, he promised to donate his upcoming season salary if the kings resigned bonzi wells and rick adelman.

with that being said, artest is prone to make dumb and/or silly decisions on and off the court. infamously he was involved the palace brawl,¹ which took his reputation from an intense and arguably dirty player to an insane person. even right before the brawl, he showed his immaturity by asking to take a month off during the season because he was tired from promoting allure, a group on his music label. in addition to that, in the final minutes of game six of the eastern conference finals, he committed a crucial flagrant foul in retaliation, a game that the pacers lost by four and ultimately ended their season. and last, but not least, during his rookie season, artest applied for a job at circuit city so that he could get the employee discount.

so why would any team want ron artest? because the houston rockets cannot afford to not take that risk when they have six first round exits in their last six trips to the playoffs, with yao and mcgrady being a part of four of those teams. artest will bring toughness and swagger that has been missing in the rockets during the yao ming/tracy mcgrady era. artest's intensity has been illustrated throughout his career, and it has been both a strength and a weakness, with his winning defensive player of the year as an example of its positive and the palace brawl as an example of its negative. [another instance of his volatile nature would be the time when he broke two of michael jordan's ribs in a pickup basketball game after jordan was trash-talking about how poor artest was.] along with his physicality, he creates match-up problems on offense, where he will be able to take some of scoring load from yao and mcgrady as well as help space the floor. so as long artest can behave and mature as a player and a person, the rockets will be on the same level as the western conference elite, especially since they didn't sacrifice much in order to get him. other than an artest implosion and injuries [which are both serious concerns], the only way i can see this trade failing for the rockets is if they re-institute their hideous jerseys from the mid-to-late 90's.

¹ - i will say that if not for the brawl, we would not have been able to witness jermaine o'neal punching some guy right in the face, a moment that will go down as one of the greatest to ever happened on a basketball court.

cover me badd

i've always thought that most music from the eighties can be remade into better songs today. [one instance would be no doubt's cover of the talk talk song, 'it's my life.'] the caveat to this theory is the band covering the song actually needs to have comparable or exceeding talent. one glaring example would be the used/my chemical romance cover of the queen/david bowie classic, 'under pressure.' i can't stress enough that neither of the bands covering the song have nowhere near the muscial talent of queen and/or david bowie. not surprisingly, it's one of the worst covers ever. anyway, a cover of michael jackson's 'beat it' by fall out boy featuring john mayer is one of the latest cases that, needless to say, falls well short of the original.



i'm sure fall out boy and john mayer thought it would be 'awesome' to cover this song, but i don't know what made them think that their interpretation could compete with michael jackson's version on a vocal level. furthermore, in the jackson version, eddie van halen plays the solo in the song; in the fall out boy adaptation, john mayer plays the solo. while i do think that john mayer is a better guitar player than he has shown in his songs, he's not on the same level as eddie van halen. the only reason why i think fall out boy released this cover is that they know that most of their fans are too young to know that this is even a cover song, which really is a shame.