2008 ncaa men's basketball tournament

editor's note: click on the bracket to be able to actually read it.

yes, i know that i have all four number one seeds making the final four. and yes, i know that has never happened. and yes, i know people who don't watch about college basketball usually have all four number one seeds making the final four, mostly because those people can't fathom a number one seed ever losing to a lower seed [even though it happens every year]. but none of those statements are legitimate reasons as to why all four number one seeds won't make it to the final four this year.

movie forecast: never back down

editor's note: for a detailed explanation of a movie forecast, click here

with the recent of rash of mind-numbing movies like 10,000 bc [or as i like to call it, the tale of bob marley] and dumbsday doomsday, at first glance the djimon hounsou vehicle, never back down, seems to fall into that category. sure, it's an obvious attempt to capitalize on the recent popularity in mixed martial arts [mma] and the historically reliable angst in male teenagers. but what gives never back down an edge over the aforementioned movies is its unknown potential for unintentional comedy. between djimon hounsou acting as a mma trainer and the horribly unrealistic fight scenes and generally bad acting by generally bad actors, the humor may be limitless. this element can elevate this picture to a higher level in the same way that it made the fast and the furious¹ one of the most rewatchable movies in history.

one of the movies that never back down is being [incorrectly] compared to is fight club, which i don't understand since the those two movies have nothing in common except for fighting within a contained circle. a more fitting juxtaposition would be fight club being [correctly] compared to its predecessor, lionheart.² anyway, never back down is more like step up [or step up 2: the streets], except that it has arm bars instead of pas de chats. comparisons aside, hopefully there is enough unintentional comedy, otherwise it really won't have that much to offer. [well, not much except for people kicking punching bags so hard that they unbelievably slide across the room. i suppose that can happen if they are attached to some sort of track on the ceiling as opposed to being attached at a pivot, in which case there's no point in using that type of punching bag.]

prognosis : 7/10

¹ nobody can tell me that any scene with paul walker and/or vin diesel isn't the most entertaining thing ever.
² with one of the most memorable scenes in cinema, jean-claude van damme taught everyone that fighting another man in an empty pool may be the most dangerous [and enjoyable] thing ever.

for shame

it looks like jim carrey has hit rock bottom. on the march 12, 2008 telecast of american idol, jim carrey sat in the audience dressed up as an elephant to promote his new movie, horton hears a who! though i understand that jim carrey was probably asked to do so by fox movie executives, it doesn't excuse the fact that he did it. perhaps i'm wrong, but i don't think people enjoy seeing a desperate man's career shatter before their eyes. for the record, he wore elephant ears, an elephant trunk, elephant hands and elephant feet while holding a plush flower. it was probably the most humiliating moment in his life [which includes once bitten, a vampire movie with faye dunaway]. as i was watched jim carrey being interviewed by ryan seacrest, i could not help but think of his descent from a $20 million-per-picture actor to someone who has to don an elephant costume to pitch a kids movie. not only did this display demonstrate his fall, but it also showed that he has no shame. needless to say, it was an awful car wreck of a sight. the biggest question that this raises is where he will go from here, although i'm more curious as to what exactly is holding up the elephant trunk, because it certainly isn't his dignity.

movie forecast: college road trip

editor's note: for a detailed explanation of a movie forecast, click here

when i first heard that there was going to be a movie called college road trip with martin lawrence and raven-symoné, i thought it was going to be a black alternate version of road trip, like something along the lines of the wiz. boy was i wrong. having raven-symoné should have been the first clue as to that. and if somehow that didn't tip me off, then the inclusion of donnie osmond definitely would have. speaking of donnie osmond, many of the early commercials and trailers barely showed him, but as its opening grew near, he's become quite prominent in them. my reason behind the change is that he's testing well in pre-release screenings. except for a certain demographic, this may not be a good sign.

with a cast of martin lawrence, raven-symoné, donnie osmond and a piglet, college road trip may be the first film to cover each and every family movie angle [which, i suppose, is wise from a financial standpoint]. martin lawrence appeals to adults [and a certain race]; raven-symoné appeals to the disney crowd; donnie osmond appeals to older adults [and a certain religion]; and the piglet [not to be confused with raven-symoné] appeals to anyone who likes baby animals [which basically includes everyone except for gargamel]. anyway, it's tough to tell if this movie will be funny or not, but it's not far-fetched to say that it can be entertaining. as long as martin lawrence isn't too family-oriented, this movie has a chance of offering something more than a tiny pig running around.

prognosis : 6/10