movie forecast: the kingdom

editor's note: for a detailed explanation of a movie forecast, click here

i remember seeing trailers in the theatres for the kingdom at least six months ago. and only now is it being released, which probably means that the movie was having problems in the post-production stage. most likely, the ending wasn't testing well and the producers and movie studios were having issues, so they probably decided that it needed to be reshot and consequently its release delayed.

whatever the case, the kingdom is now being hailed as a strong possibility to receive an oscar nominee for best picture, among other awards. as far i can tell, i can't disagree with that claim, but i do find it dubious that a picture can go from problematic to oscar worthy with a few reshoots, if that is the case [and i believe it is].

the kingdom does feature a fairly strong cast, which includes jamie foxx, jennifer garner and the underrated chris cooper [i know he's won an oscar, but he's still underrated]. i don't know how jamie foxx went from his earlier work to an oscar, but it happened somehow. if they were some kind of hgh for actors, the mpaa needs to test him for this. [by the way, i'm glad he doesn't think he's ray charles anymore.] jennifer garner, who at first i thought was strangely miscast, is probably the right choice to play her character. she looks tough enough to play an fbi agent, but she's also pretty enough to look extremely vulnerable in an iraqi setting [which is probably what the director was seeking]. then there is chris cooper, who has become one of the today's finest american actors. if you have doubts about this claim, watch him in any of his movies.

what can prevent this movie from being great is it being too political [i know a movie set in iraq is going to be political, but there is such a thing as overkill]. also, it worries me that the director, peter berg, is rather inexperienced with being at the helm of a movie. but then again, there have been some people with little experience who won oscars for best director in one of their first turns. at any rate, the kingdom seems like one of those films where it looks to make a statement with its subject matter, but instead it will be the work of its cast that will shine the brightest.

prognosis: 8/10

a 'hero' did rise

many tents were pitched last night in anticipation for the midnight release of halo 3. in fact, many gaming stores held a release party to welcome the third edition of microsoft's most successful franchise. while i did not attend any of these 'release parties,' [you know who you are], i did pick it up sometime tuesday afternoon. one of the funnier things related to halo 3 is the option for people to buy a version that includes a replica helmet that will house the halo 3 [or any other] video game case. seriously, is that necessary? some people are just dumb. with that being said, i still haven't played the game. so until i have actually played halo 3, i will continue to wonder what could bungie could do to improve the game from halo 2. aside from master chief being able to wield three guns at a time with the help of a third arm, the only things i can think that would have improved would be as follows: better graphics, new maps, and new weapons. and basically that's it. there may be other new wrinkles, but they won't be essential [read: things that people can do without]. halo 3's release also generated enough buzz that people who don't know anything related to video games were asking me about it. at first it surprised me that these people mentioned it, but then again, one person called it 'hero 3.'

movie forecast: resident evil: extinction

editor's note: for a detailed explanation of a movie forecast, click here

it is rare that someone would buy and play a certain video game based solely on its plot, so it has never made any sense to make a movie based on the story of one. resident evil: extinction, the third movie in its series, continues the tradition of terrible movies based on video games. based on what i've seen from the first two resident evil movies [i don't know how this happened], i have no idea why a third one would be made. the first two movies were awful, and i'm certain that the third one will not be an exception. i would say that these movies have tarnished milla jovovich's credibility, but that would not be an accurate statement.

at any rate, resident evil: extinction will be more of the same garbage that is the first two films. in keeping with the first two movies, the plot will be juvenile, the cgi will be sub-par [which is ironic since this is based a video game] and the acting will leave much to be desired, to put it nicely. the funny thing is that i'm not sure that fans of the resident evil video games even like these movies. i suppose my only solace is that this movie lives up to its name.

prognosis : 3/10

nfl predictions: week three [3]

detroit at philadelphia

analysis : the eagles have underachieved so far and the lions have overachieved. i do expect the eagles to turn it around this season, and this week is a great place to start.

the pick : philadelphia

miami at ny jets

analysis : the jets played well against the ravens last week and the dolphins have not played well at all. since these two teams have the same level of talent on their rosters, the advantage will go to the team with the better coaching staff.

the pick : ny jets

buffalo at new england

analysis : i am serious when i say that the patriots have the legitimate chance of going 19-0, and i wouldn't be surprised if they don't play a close game along the way. the bills, on the other hand, still have jp losman as quarterback. enough said.

the pick : new england

arizona at baltimore

analysis : the cardinals won a game last week where in the past they would've lost. the ravens' defense surprisingly looked beatable against a inferior jets' offense. are these signs of an upset? possibly, if the cardinals weren't involved.

the pick : baltimore

st louis at tampa bay

analysis : i just want to know how joey galloway is still fast after all these years. and he carries the ball like a loaf of bread just like running backs did in the '80s. this just make any sense. anyway, the buccaneers defense likes good after being infused with younger players. the rams still can't stop the run.

the pick : buccaneers

san francisco at pittsburgh

analysis : the 49ers are good enough to make the playoffs, but they are not good enough to beat most afc teams. the steelers have done a good job with their head coaching transition. they will be a team that could give the patriots some challenge in the playoffs.

the pick : pittsburgh

indianapolis at houston

analysis : i'm a firm believer that the colts hold back their offense and defense just enough to barely win their games so that they will have new stuff when they play the patriots in the playoffs. other than that, i have no idea why they don't blow away every team with their offense. i do think the texans will give a close game, but only because the colts allow it.

the pick : indianapolis

san diego at green bay

analysis : the chargers should be motivated to destroy the chargers after last week's demolition at the hands of the patriots. the packers are just feeling fortunate that they are 2-0. i expect the chargers to come out and play a good statement game.

the pick : san diego

minnesota at kansas city

analysis : the chiefs cannot move the ball if it meant that it would save their coach's job. which is probably they aren't moving the ball. that, and they have no good receivers [tony gonzalez is done]. the vikings have a terrible situation at quarterback, but they have enough talent at other positions to make up for it. it's not as though that they rely on their quarterback to do much.

the pick : minnesota

cleveland at oakland

analysis : there is no way derek anderson will throw for 300 yards and 3 touchdowns this week. once in a while, a quarterback will come out of nowhere to have a monster game, but it doesn't mean that it's a sign of things to come. the raiders also have a better defense than cincinnati, which also plays against another good performance from derek anderson.

the pick : oakland

jacksonville at denver

analysis : the broncos almost lost to the raiders last week, but won thanks to a crafty timeout. but that should be a fair warning that this team might not be as good as some people think. because of their inconsistent play, the jaguars are one of those teams that are hard to figure where they are compared to other teams.

the pick : denver

cincinnati at seattle

analysis : things can go from ugly to uglier this week for the bengals. they are struggling on defense and seattle's coaches are smart enough to exploit it.

the pick : seattle

ny giants at washington

analysis: the giants are in disarray and washington looks like they have a legitimate chance to contend in the nfc.

the pick : washington

carolina at atlanta

analysis: the falcons have been able to contend in their games so far, and the panthers are a team that will give any team that are playing a chance to win.

the pick : atlanta

dallas at chicago

analysis: chicago's vaunted defense looks like it's showing signs of weakness, especially against the run. the cowboys' offense is running on all cylinders and will be able to take advantage the bears' depleted defense. while it will be close at first, i expect the cowboys to pull away late in the game.

the pick : dallas

tennessee at new orleans

analysis: the saints have been struggling away from the superdome, and they have a great chance to turn their season around when they come home to play this week. although i am aware that all vince young does is win games, he can't win them all.

the pick : new orleans

separated at birth?

it's been a widely held belief that mike hart is much older than his reported 20 years of age, and with new information that he and hall of famer marcus allen were separated at birth, he can no longer use his age to deny this claim. when asked how this would affect his status at the university of michigan, mike is quoted as saying, 'it doesn't really matter if i'm on the team or not, our team would still be as overrated and over-hyped as we are because we play in the big 10.'

man's likeness vs. man's best friend

finally there is scientific evidence to settle the age old question of who would win a sit-up contest between a chimpanzee and a bulldog. let's review:

0:03 a funny image of the chimp standing upright is shown. next thing you know these guys will be talking.

0:10 young asians doing sit-ups. so this is the secret to becoming good at math.

0:18 the chimp is shown with a bulldog lying on his legs. this could be the first time something like this has happened.

0:45 the chimp struggles after his 10th sit-up. it's no wonder his friends have told him to quit smoking.

0:55 the chimp pushes the bulldog off his legs. the best part is that the bulldog does nothing about this.

1:12 the bulldog lying on his back with the chimp holding his legs down is probably the funniest visual in the entire clip. seriously, this dog is either sedated or high. i haven't decided which.

1:14 i take it back, the close-up of the bulldog's face is the funniest ever. hands down.

1:28 the chimp shows his boredom and starts hitting the bulldog and pulling on his legs. not surprisingly, this elicits no response whatsoever from the bulldog.

1:42 the chimp hangs his head low and pinches the bridge of his nose to express his disappointment. these things are just like us.

1:51 the bulldog tries to get back on all fours as the chimp continues to slap his legs. it reminds me of a cockroach on its back.

college football in review: week three [3]

notre dame at michigan

notre dame : the fighting irish could not do a thing against the wolverines. jimmy clausen didn't play like the greatest notre dame quarterback that some are projecting him to be. then again, he is only nineteen years old. when i was nineteen, i thought dvd's were just a fad. the rest of the team also played awful. the only good news for notre dame that i took from the game: charlie weis looks skinnier.

michigan : this win doesn't take lloyd carr off the hot seat. he still should be fired after this season. beating the irish at home would have been like beating appalachian state. and is chad henne rooting for or against ryan mallett to do well? because he looked good enough to be the starter even when henne comes back.

[#22] tennessee at [#5] florida

tennessee : the volunteers were unable to do anything against the gators when it mattered. this was a complete mismatch.

florida : it doesn't look like the gators have lost much from last year's national championship team. tim tebow continued his evolution as the white michael vick with this game. and after watching this game, i don't think there is a team with more speed than this one.

[#16] arkansas at alabama

arkansas : darren mcfadden is the best college football player this year. whenever he enters the draft, he will be the number one overall pick [unless something dumb happens]. though i didn't think arkansas should've been dropped from the polls since they barely lost to a now top-25 team, especially when louisville lost to a then unranked kentucky team.

alabama : what a great finish to this game. i suppose saban is worth all of the money that they are giving him, although people were saying the same thing about charlie weis just two years ago. by the way, my favorite nick saban nickname is 'o-saban been lying.'

[#9] louisville at kentucky

louisville : i think bobby petrino and the louisville fan base both wish that he was still the coach for the cardinals. as for heisman hopeful brian brohm, he played well, but it wasn't enough to overcome a shoddy defense.

kentucky : in andre woodson the wildcats might have the best nfl ready quarterback in college football [better than both brohm and brennan]. he is the primary reason as to why kentucky pulled off the upset in what was a truly exciting football game. i look forward to seeing what else kentucky can do this season.

[#1] usc at [#14] nebraska

usc : after the last week's [which will probably be a year long one] debate of lsu being number one, i think people slept on the fact that usc has a dominate football team. as the game was being played, everyone realized two things: [1] usc has an unlimited supply of running backs and [2] nebraska had no chance on defense. usc has too much depth at skill positions which they will use to wear down any defense.

nebraska : i actually thought nebraska had a legitimate chance to beat the trojans. they were playing at home and they have a fairly good team. instead, they got beat down. i should've remembered that bill callahan was the coach.

movie forecast: mr. woodcock

editor's note: for a detailed explanation of a movie forecast, click here

billy bob thornton has been nominated for an academy award twice as an actor and has even won an oscar for screenwriting. so obviously he is talented and is not a bad actor. so why does he make so many bad movies? my only guess is that he's going through a divorce or has a drug problem and needs the money badly. anyway, with mr. woodcock, he continues his streak of formulaic and unoriginal comedies. it seems as though everyone is miscast in this movie, especially seann william scott as some pansy kid. and why is susan sarandon doing in this movie? isn't she supposed to be a great actress? she's really co-starring in mr. woodcock? this just doesn't make any sense at all.

as for the movie, i don't know anything about it except that billy bob thornton's character doesn't like seann william scott's character, and vice versa. i can already predict what will happen in this movie: they will play pranks on each other, then in the end some crazy force or cause will unite them and they will understand the other person's point of view. oh, and i almost forgot to include the part where it will suck.

prognosis: 4/10

nfl predictions: week two [2]

buffalo at pittsburgh

buffalo : the bills almost won last week despite getting very little from their offense. i don't expect much to change this week.

pittsburgh : the steelers looked impressive last week. then again, they were playing the browns. i'm curious to see if they can maintain that level of play against a [slightly] better team.

the pick : pittsburgh

houston at carolina

houston : the texans are fielding their best team since the franchise's induction into the nfl, which is good because that means they can finally shed their 'expansion' label. their offense looks better with schaub at quarterback and their defense continues to improve with more experience.

carolina : if the panthers can establish a consistent running game, they will be able to return to contender status. if not, they will be mired in mediocrity yet again.

the pick : houston

atlanta at jacksonville

atlanta : the falcons played terribly last week, but i expect to play better as the season progresses [i have to no reason as to why i made that claim].

jacksonville : the jaguars are a team that plays to the level of their competition, and when teams do that, they get beat by teams they should beat every now and then.

the pick : atlanta

new orleans at tampa bay

new orleans : despite last week's stinkbomb, i look for the saints to rebound this week and get their offense together. as for their defense, well, it looks like they still have a major weakness at cornerback.

tampa bay : the buccaneers have the potential to surprise their opponents this year with a veteran quarterback and a defense that has found younger players to add to an aging defense. even with the possibility that cadillac williams will not be playing this week, i don't see the bucs offense losing that much with michael pittman starting.

the pick : new orleans

green bay at ny giants

green bay : plain and simple, the packers won last week with luck. so i guess that's their game plan for this week.

ny giants : has there ever been a team that needed a coaching change this early into the season? is it even possible for more bad things happen to giants this week than last week? but as poorly as the giants played last week, they were still in the game towards the end. as for this week, there's just too much to overcome.

the pick : green bay

san francisco at st louis

san francisco : i want to go on record to say that i knew the 49ers were going to call an end around to a wide receiver for their game winning play last week. call it a hunch. other than that, i enjoyed how mike and mike and mike decided that the cardinals and niners both played excellent defense as to why their offenses struggled. that was nice of them.

st louis : orlando pace is out for this game, which is significant, yet he was out last year for some games and stephen jackson still played well. the lesson as always, stephen jackson always pretends every defensive player is danny glover.

the pick : san francisco

cincinnati at cleveland

cincinnati : the bengals might have turned the corner with last monday's victory. their offense played well against an elite ravens defense. this is not good news for the browns.

cleveland : the nfl should make a new rule: if a team loses to cleveland, then said team should automatically be disqualified from the playoffs in the same year, no matter what their record is. with that in mind, the browns traded starting quarterback charlie frye one week into the season for a sixth round pick [never a good sign] and now have derek anderson as the starter [someone please tell me how this is will make a difference]. just start brady quinn and get it over with.

the pick : cincinnati

indianapolis at tennessee

indianapolis : wow, by the looks of last week's game, the colts are diversifying their offense, which is bad news for the defensive coordinators everywhere. before last week's game, we all knew that marvin harrison lined up on one side and reggie wayne on the other. but against the saints, they switched sides and sometimess lined up on the same side. and for the first time i saw them run a play where dallas clark gets the ball on an end around [which shouldn't really strike fear into opposing teams, but it might be a sign of other new plays to come]. their defense also looked stout against a good new orleans offense. they might be better than i previously thought.

tennessee : it looks like the titans will continue to employ the same strategy for games this year as they did last year, which is keep the game close and hope vince young makes some plays at the end. if chris brown can stay healthy, the titans will have one of the better rushing attacks [i'm counting vince young] in the league.

the pick : indianapolis

minnesota at detroit

minnesota : ever since his freshman year at oklahoma, i've always thought adrian peterson would be a good pro, although it seemed the media forgot how good he was the more he played in college. he will help tavaris jackson ease into being a starter in this league, much like how he helped jason white win the heisman.

detroit : call it a gift from the schedule gods, as either oakland or detroit would have been 1-0 after playing each other last week. detroit took advantage the schedule and are over .500 for the first and possibly last time of the season. i still can't believe that jon kitna is the only legitimate quarterback on their roster. lions management are putting a lot of faith in a person whose greatest nfl achievement is leading the bengals to a 8-8 record.

the pick : detroit

dallas at miami

dallas : the cowboys offense was near unstoppable last week against the giants. but the fact that the giants were still in the game despite the fact that cowboys offense played well is not a good sign. the cowboys biggest weakness is their secondary, especially at strong safety where pro bowler roy williams couldn't stop the pass to save his life.

miami : cam cameron is supposedly an offensive minded coach, yet their defense is what will keep the dolphins in this game. the dolphins have enough parts on offense to do well, i believe it's just a matter of when. unfortunately, it won't be in time for this game.

the pick : cowboys

seattle at arizona

seattle : the seahawks returned to form last week, and they showed what they are capable of doing when they have healthy team. last week, shaun alexander was able to play showed why he was worthy of the madden curse.

arizona : the cardinals did enough to win last week, but i'm sure it came as no surprise that they lost another season opener. i'm starting to think that the cardinals franchise just isn't that good.

the pick : seattle

ny jets at baltimore

ny jets : most likely, jets fans will get their wish granted and see the quarterback with a cartoon character's name, kellen clemens, start this week. unfortunately, it comes against one of the most ball-hungry defenses of all time. i love how over the years the ineptitude of the ravens' offense has cultivated a mentality from their defense to score at all costs because they know their offense can't. this is a great opportunity to see this ideal of the ravens' defense come to fruition.

baltimore : last week, steve mcnair did two things steve mcnair does every year. he plays both well and poorly in the same game and he gets hurt. with the absence of jonathan odgen, the ravens running game will struggle [sorry willis mcgahee]. if anyone doubted ray lewis' toughness [i can't think of why anyone would], he is expected to play even though he suffered a torn tricep last monday.

the pick : baltimore

oakland at denver

oakland : the raiders will not be as bad as people think this year. if daunte culpepper starts this week, i actually expect good things from their offense. i know that their offense was the worst of all-time last year, but that'll happen when a bed-and-breakfast guy runs the offense. the raiders will be competitive this year.

denver : the broncos should not have needed a hurry-up last second field goal to beat the bills last week. it's slightly embarrassing.

the pick : denver

kansas city at chicago

kansas city : there is a good chance that the raiders will end up with a better record than the chiefs. they look hapless and uninspired last week, and i don't see any of that changing any time soon.

chicago : as i expected, the return of tommie harris has placed the bears' defense back in the league's elite [without him, their defense was beatable]. unfortunately, their offense looked terrible and i can't imagine rex grossman finishing this season as their starting quarterback. he still hasn't learned to not throw off his back foot, which is the main cause of so many of his poor throws. unless this improves, i can't see the bears getting far in the playoffs. cedric benson also played poorly, which is partly due to the offensive line's lackluster play.

the pick : chicago

san diego at new england

san diego : last year, phillip rivers didn't throw to antonio gates enough, and instead threw to the likes of keenan mccardell and eric parker [not good]. norv turner has changed that. judging from last week's game, gates is once again being utilized as their primary receiving option. i also can't believe that the media doesn't have more to say about tomlinson being contained by the bears last week [i realize that he accounted for 2 td's, but he didn't have a dominating performance]. if he doesn't have a big game this week, look for some premature whispers from the media.

new england : am i the only one who finds the whole spying on the jets humorous? with that being said, i don't want to hear the argument from patriots fans that a lot of other teams are doing it as well. other teams doing it doesn't justify that they did it.

the pick : new england

washington at philadelphia

washington : this might be the year where joe gibbs takes the redskins to the next level [it's about time]. the defense looks solid and the players are finally learning the highly touted system implemented by al saunders.

philadelphia : the eagles run of bad luck continues into this season. last year, they lost a game by a last second 62 yard field goal. last week, they lost by a late turnover [although that wasn't as big a fluke as a 62 yard field goal].

the pick : washington

nine eleven

as we respect those who passed prematurely and unfairly on this day, let us not only remember this day as a day of tragedy, but also a day of triumph, as we showed that we shall not be intimidated by who wish to strike fear in our lives.