top 10 candy bars

10. fundamentally, 3 musketeers is a milky way without the caramel, and milky way is a snickers without the peanuts. it's basically the middle class candy bar.

9. i don't care what anybody says, this tastes way better than a krackel.



8. it's a good thing they separate the wafers, because i don't think anyone wants to eat a giant wafer at once.



7. the tim tam slam is the best thing on this list. and although they're still good, they aren't the same without the hot chocolate.

6. i'm pretty sure i remember a soccer player eating snickers to help him train. i don't know whether snickers helps or that he was just the dumbest soccer player ever.

5. i think the main reason twix comes in two bars is to appeal to parents who have trouble dividing candy among their two children evenly. otherwise, i see no other reason.

4. how do i eat a reese's peanut butter cup? like a normal human being, not like some weirdo.



3. the only way that i can justify m&m's on a this list is that it is chocolate, it's sold where all these other candy bars are sold and it tastes like a candy bar. anyway, i would these even they talked and had legs.


2. this is the densest candy bar ever. what i mean is that it felt like i ate an entire meal after eating just one. without a doubt, its density is the most impressive thing i've ever experienced.

1. the 100 grand bar includes three of my favorite things in confectionery: chocolate, caramel and crisped rice. simply put, it's delicious.

top 10 worst sports events of my life

for some people, sports elicits a gauntlet of emotions ranging from [to be simplistic] good to bad. this list as been compiled to rank the worst sports events of my life. with the exception of number 4, this list includes only games that i watched live on tv or in person.¹ not all of these events are from a single game; some of them take place over a the course of a few days or in a best-of series. [i have excluded the time when magic johnson announced that has the hiv virus. to reduce that to a sporting event would diminish how significant it was on a social level; the news transcended sports and raised awareness of hiv and aids at a time when it was much needed.]

10. michael chang loses to patrick rafter in 1997 us open semifinals

reason : for some reason or another, i have always been a fan of michael chang. entering the 1997 us open, he was ranked number 2 in the world second only to pete sampras. after sampras was eliminated in the quarterfinals that year, michael chang only needed to win the us open to take over the number 1 ranking. i thought that he would win, but he ran into a buzz saw in patrick rafter who beat him rather handily in straight sets [6-3, 6-3, 6-4]. chang never got close to being number 1 ever again, and probably tells this story to his family and friends all the time.

9. the bills lose to the giants in super bowl xxv [1991]

reason : for the record, the bills were the better team this year; they just weren't the better team in this particular game.² i suppose the the reason why i wanted the bills to win so much [and the giants to lose] is directly related to number 5. i still remember thinking that norwood would miss the kick, which of course he did. that was an instance where it felt terrible to be right.

8. byu loses to utah in 2005's holy war

reason : i attended this game, which made this much worse. byu hadn't beat its rival utah in 4 meetings, and this seemed like the year to break that streak. the cougars fell behind early, only to come back and tie the game by the end of regulation. of course they lose in overtime, making the ute fans too happy. another reason why this was disheartening was the way byu kept making the same mistakes: being unable to contain a scrambling quarterback who was making first start, giving up big plays on third downs [including a touchdown on 3rd and 26], etc. although the best part of this game was eavesdropping on a bitter byu fan complain to his children the entire game.

7. the phillies lose game 6 of 1993 world series

reason : when i saw mitch williams come into the game for the save, i knew the phillies were going to lose. ten minutes later, teammates are trying to crawl up joe carter's butt as i questioned why mitch williams was even in the game [and perhaps more importantly why anyone would want to crawl up joe carter's butt].

6. unlv loses to duke in 1991 final four semifinals

reason : unlv was 34-0 entering this game, and i thought that no one would beat them that year. in came coach k and christian laettner to shatter that belief. when the blue devils beat the runnin' rebels by two points, it was more than a narrow defeat for me. it was one of earliest feelings of dejection that one feels when their team loses a close game when the stakes are high.

5. the 49ers lose to the giants in 1991 nfc championship game

reason : this is the year where the 49ers played giants in one of the most anticipated regular season games ever. both teams were 10-1 and had only lost the previous week before their match-up. the 49ers prevailed in that monday night game winning 7-3. the two teams met again in the playoffs, this time with the giants winning on a last second matt bahr field goal. the giants didn't even score a touchdown, as they won 15-13 on five field goals. furthermore, roger craig fumbled the ball deep in 49er territory to set up the game-winning field goal for the giants. this was also the game where the giants injured joe montana, causing him to miss all but one game for the next two seasons. needless to say, the 1991 giants are the spawn of the devil.

4. kobe bryant forces the lakers to trade shaquille o'neal in summer of 2004

reason : if the news that jerry buss was the main proponent to trading shaq didn't surface, this event would be much higher. until the beginning of this year, i was bitter towards kobe for his role in the trade of shaq. i thought that kobe forced the lakers' hand into trading shaq; the lakers' management thought that he would have left the lakers via free agency if shaq was still on the team [and rightly so]. but it seems as though kobe has been telling the truth when he said that he never gave the lakers an ultimatum and that it was jerry buss who spearheaded the action to trade shaq and consequently end the lakers' mini-dynasty.

3. eric lindros gets concussed in game 7 of 2000 nhl eastern conference finals

reason : the flyers were leading the devils 3-2 when eric lindros returned from post-concussion syndrome in game 6. the devils won that game to force a game 7, in which scott stevens delivered a borderline cheap and possibly deliberate elbow to lindros' head, causing another concussion. at that very moment of that hit, i distinctly remember thinking that lindros may never play again³ and that he may be dead seriously injured. as a result, the legion of doom [lindros, leclair and renberg] was never more.

2. the lakers lose to the pistons in 2004 nba finals

reason : i have never been as mad at a team's play than i was with the lakers' in the 2004 finals. they played with no heart or conviction, and it was obvious that shaq and kobe didn't want to play as a team. the lakers had the two best players in the series, yet it was the pistons who showed everyone how to win a championship. the lakers should have won with the talent they had, but they deserved to lose with the way they played. what makes this loss even worse is my belief that if they had won this series shaq would have never been traded the following off-season.

1. the cubs lose to the marlins in game 7 of 2003 nlcs/ the red sox lose to the yankees game 7 of 2003 alcs

reason : when the lakers lost to pistons, i have never been as angry; when the cubs and red sox lost to the marlins and yankees, respectively, i have never been as sad. the strange thing about these losses is the fact that i am not a fan of either of these teams. yet when the cubs lost one day and the red sox the next, i remember being so disappointed that i had no desire to watch any sports at all for quite a while. the best reason that i can give as to why this had such a big of an effect is my desire to see two underdog teams who hadn't won a title in a long, long time play each other in the world series. [remember this is before the red sox won two titles, acquired a bevy of bandwagon fans, and basically turned into the yankees.] what made it worse was the way they lost after leading in the deciding game [the cubs were also 5 outs away in game 6 while the red sox likewise were 5 outs away in game 7]. to this day i can only wonder what if.

¹ if events from video games were included, a 17th inning game-winning chipper jones home run off kaz ishii would probably make this list.
² this was the first game where the winning team's coach got a gatorade shower.
³ he did play again, but he was neither as good or as comfortable on the ice.

top 10 greatest arnold schwarzenegger movies

10. the running man : this movie seemingly has so many things going against it, but in true arnold fashion he turns those negatives into positives. for example, he takes a ridiculous[!] plot [seriously, i can't ever see a game show where people hunt people, even in the 'future'] and makes it somewhat forgivable with classic one-liners. but why was richard dawson in this movie? i still can't figure that one out. it's not like game show hosts are the only people who can play game show hosts in a movie. not only that, he was pretty weak as arnold's main villain. everyone knows he would snap richard dawson like he did that pencil in kindergarten cop.

9. twins : this movie showed that arnold could play more than a killing machine. in twins, he played a experimental superfreak, while danny devito played what basically was the genetic feces of a human being. together they went on a zany adventure to find their long lost mother, teach each other about humanity, and deliver a some type of jet engine which was kept in the trunk of danny devito's car. upon further review, this may have been a stretch. but it doesn't really matter since it was here where arnold would began to tap his unlimited comic abilities.

8. total recall : when i think about this movie, i think about how gross it would be to live in a world like that. it also reminds me a lot of mexico, in the way the society is lawless. and it was hard for me to get past all the mutant stuff happening in the movie. i just didn't want to see that. i'd much rather watch arnold tear stuff up with his bare hands than deal with mutants on the planet mars. with that being said, i enjoyed the movie in the sense that it was a new role for arnold [a role that he has often duplicated since].

7. predator : this movie would be rated higher if there were more dialogue and if the director acquiesced to jean-claude van damme and allow him show his face while he was in the predator suit. it was virtually a nra fantasy from beginning to end. it had more firepower than almost every movie i have ever seen. and i think it's a safe bet to say that it's the only alien bounty hunter movie with two future governors playing mercenaries carrying heavy artillery. despite having very little dialogue, this movie still had some classic arnold one-liners.

6. the terminator : being offered a role to play a robot is probably the best thing to happen to arnold. not only did playing a robot hide the fact that he is a limited actor who couldn't speak english very well at the time, it provided another medium [science fiction] in which he could unconsciously destroy humankind. this movie would be higher if not linda hamilton's unforgivable 80's hair.

5. commando : at first i didn't like this movie that much for the same reasons that i didn't like predator that much. but after several viewings, the unintentional comedy has lifted this film to another level. arnold's dialogue consists heavily of one-liners, which necessarily isn't a bad thing. at this stage of arnold's career, he was still performing feats that would require otherworldly strength to emphasize his larger than life stature. for example, in one of his first scenes, he is carrying a 3-feet thick and 30-foot long tree trunk over his shoulder. in another, he rips a phone booth out of the ground and lifts it over his head. these type of things kept happening in the movie. in the final scenes he eliminates all life [this includes humans, animals and plants] on some remote island. it couldn't have had a better ending.

4. terminator 3: rise of the machines : t3 was arnold's last major motion picture before taking his life seriously and getting a real job as the governor of california. this film captures some of the more breathtaking scenes in cinema history, which were larger in scale than most other movies. since arnold was a robot [again], the action scenes were more realistic than other movies of this genre since laws of physics didn't necessarily apply.

3. kindergarten cop : the best of arnold's 'comedies.' sure it relied heavily on kids, but what makes this movie stand apart from the rest is the fact that everything arnold says is funny. it is by far arnold's best comedic turn as an actor. unfortunately, this led arnold to believe that he should do more comedies, which pretty much became downright embarrassing later in his career. by the way, for a long time i believed that guns that dominic made were real and that they worked. it was not until i was 24 years old that i realized that no kid could make guns out of aluminum foil.

2. true lies : arnold was able to give life and personality to this movie, and that made all the difference. the supporting actors also did their parts very well, providing more than the usual flat characters that often accompany arnold's movies. plus the writing actually matched its spectacular action scenes [for once]. too bad that this would be one of arnold's last blockbuster movies.

1. terminator 2: judgment day : this is arnold at his best. he mixes action and comedy to create one of the better movies of all time. his one-liners from this movie is still quoted today, although i wouldn't be surprised if younger people nowadays don't know where they came from. the action scenes were beyond anything seen at the time of this film's release, and even today they hold up fairly well. with all of those factors, it is the quintessential arnold movie.

top 10 greatest guitar solos of all time

in the '60s and '70s, the guitar solo was at its apex. many of the finest guitarists of that era honed and perfected this aspect of their craft. they were oftentimes pushed by their peers to develop new and intricate sounds in order to receive their respect as a true musician. currently, the guitar solo is a dying as an art. at first it's difficult to understand why [since many people enjoy them], but then the realization comes that a good guitar solo requires much more skill than what most talentless mainstream musicians actually possess. with that being said, following guitar solos aren't necessarily the fastest, nor are they always the most melodic; what makes these solos the ten best is almost unexplainable. attempts can be made to describe why they're so great, but i think only by listening can we fully understand their true beauty.

10. crossroads [eric clapton, cream]
9. sultans of swing [mark knopfler, dire straits]
8. eruption [eddie van halen, van halen]
7. one [kirk hammett, metallica]
6. sweet child o' mine [slash, guns n' roses]
5. free bird [allen collins, lynard skynard]
4. hotel california [don felder/joe walsh, the eagles]
3. mr. crowley [randy rhoads, ozzy osbourne]
2. stairway to heaven [jimmy page, led zeppelin]
1. machine gun [jimi hendrix]

top 10 greatest switch hitters of all time

ever since one of my friends [a diehard braves fan as well as the lead writer for the rogue league] said that chipper jones was THE greatest switch hitter of all time, it has been my lifelong goal to refute this claim. i will admit that i do have a dislike for the chipper [i have my reasons], but i know for a fact that he is not the best switch hitter who ever lived. even as my friend made that statement, three players came to mind who are head and shoulders better than the man they call chipper, to which he agreed [more on who they are later]. at any rate, this is a list of the top 10 greatest switch hitters in baseball history. mind you, it is of the greatest hitters, and not necessarily the greatest players. otherwise players such as ozzie smith, maury wills and willie wilson would [possibly] have made the list. also, current players who are still relatively young in their careers but who are not quite as established [eg mark teixeira, lance berkman] have been excluded.

10. ken singleton : i know what you're thinking: who? um, i'm not so sure myself, but his name is ken singleton and he played 15 seasons for the mets, expos and orioles. he is a three time all-star who had a career on-base percentage of .388 and played in two world series, with his team winning one in 1983. he had a career high 35 home runs and 111 rbi's in 1979, which helped him finish 2nd in mvp voting that year. [trust me, he's the 10th best switch hitter ever. if you know of anyone not on this list who is better, please, do tell.]

9. reggie smith : do you hear that sound? no? well, it's the sound of me scraping the bottom of the barrel. after no. 8, it was fairly difficult to choose the last 2 players to round out the rest of this list. not because there were so many choices to choose from, but because there really aren't that many quality switch hitters. anyway, reggie smith deserves the no. 9 spot over ken singleton merely because i like his name better. that, and he was a 7 time all-star who slugged 314 home runs [not in a season, that would be a record or something] and batted over .300 seven times in 17 seasons. he also played in 4 world series, hitting 3 hrs in one game during the '77 fall classic. other than that, he sounds like a guy who would have your back in a street brawl.

8. tim raines : i like to call him 'the rain man,' only because i thought he was somewhat autistic when i was younger [jokes jokes]. tim appeared in 7 straight all-star games and has a career batting average of .294 over the course of 23 seasons. while he did not have the power numbers as some of the other players on this list, he did maintain a high on-base percentage throughout his career and scored runs like it was going out of style. ultimately, his biggest flaw though was providing the y chromosome for tim raines jr, thus subjecting baseball fans everywhere to atrocious baseball.

7. roberto alomar : the second thing i think of when i hear roberto alomar's name is his postseason play in the '92 and '93 seasons, which helped his team, the toronto blue jays, win two consecutive world series. if i remember correctly, during those two postseasons, he delivered clutch hit after clutch hit to help his team's cause. when most people [and by 'people,' i mean the 2% of the population who actually watch baseball] think of the '93 world series, they think of joe carter hitting the series-ending home run, which resulted in his teammates trying to crawl up his butt [fyi, around the 0:52 mark, you can actually see a ballboy try to crawl in a player's butt]. anyway, other than the joe carter being violated, when i think of the '93 world series, i think about how the phillies could never seem to get alomar out. he was just a tough batter. at any rate, alomar batted over .300 in six straight seasons and in 9 out of 10 seasons. after his stay with the blue jays, he went to play with many other teams, including the orioles, which brings me to the first thing i think of when i hear his name: don't stand close to the man when he thinks a called strike is a ball.

6. bernie williams : no, i'm not putting bernie williams at no. 6 because he is an amazing jazz musician, but because he has truly put up some great numbers. at first, i was reluctant to include bernie in this list [mostly because i think yankee players tend to be over-hyped], but after reviewing his numbers and career accomplishments, i had to give the man some props. he is a 5 time all-star, but i think it's partially due to the fact that joe torre was always picking the all-star team [and his nose. um, his own nose, not bernie's. still, i wouldn't put it past torre.] anyway, bernie hit over .300 in eight straight seasons and was a mainstay in the powerful yankees lineup. he also holds postseason records with 22 home runs and 80 rbi's [although i think that these numbers were helped immensely by the new playoff format that was introduced in 1995, which led to more playoff games per season and therefore more chances to culminate statistics].

5. chipper jones : going along with my dislike of chipper, one of my favorite memories of chipper jones is the time towards the end of his rookie season when a ground ball or something hit him in the face, causing him to have a split lip for the playoffs and everyone seeing him like that on national tv. good times... seriously though, i tried hard to get chipper out of the top 5 of the greatest switch hitters of all time, but the boy just puts up good numbers. and as much as i don't like chipper jones, i respect that he is a good ballplayer who was a central part of a successful team. not only that, he has hit over 20 home runs in each of his 12 full seasons [not counting the current 2007 season, in which he has 18 as of today, so he will most likely get to 20 this year if he can avoid one of his trademark nagging injuries]. during this stretch, chipper had at least 100 rbi's in 8 straight seasons and sports a career .306 batting average to go with a career on-base percentage over .400. he's also had some other great accomplishments [including finishing 2nd in rookie of the year voting to dodger sensation hideo nomo], but enough is enough. let's just move on.

4. frankie frisch : i had to dig deep to find someone to supplant chipper jones from no. 4, and i think i found that someone in frankie frisch [if you have heard of this guy before today, congratulations on turning 125 years old within the next year]. frankie played in 8 world series, with his team winning 4 of them. not only is he a career .316 hitter and the 1931 national league mvp, he was inducted into the hall of fame in 1947. oftentimes he is compared to rogers hornsby, a player who he was once traded for. in terms of being a better overall player, some have argued that frisch was better than hornsby [i know that's not what this list is about, but i'm just sayin']. so take that larry.

3. eddie murray : when i think of eddie murray, i think of the detroit lions kicker from tecmo super bowl. man, that guy was accurate. i also think of one of the best hitters of our generation who is only one of three men [plus one confirmed steroid user] to have at least 500 home runs and 3,000 hits. he was a consistently great hitter throughout most of his career and performed well in the clutch. he also played in three world series, with his team winning one in 1983. out of the 21 seasons that he played, he had 16 seasons of 20 home runs or more, including 13 out of the first 14 seasons of his career. his ability to hit is only surpassed by his character on and off the field. and his facial hair.

2. mickey mantle : mickey mantle's feats were so amazing that people oftentimes forget that his actual first name is 'mickey.' seriously, anyone with that name this day and age would get jumped after school everyday after class. anyway, the 'mick' hit some of longest home runs in baseball history, with several of his home runs claiming to be over 600 ft [that's over 2 football fields peoples]. he hit over .300 in 10 of his 18 seasons, and almost averaged 30 home runs per year for his career. he also played in 12 world series, with his team winning 7 of them. he holds world series career records of home runs [18], runs [42] and rbi's [40]. he has also won 3 mvp awards and is the last person to win the major league triple crown when he did it in 1956 with a .353 average, 52 home runs and 130 rbi's. and i'm pretty sure he slayed a dragon with his bare hands.

1. pete rose : thanks to the espn movie hustle, whenever i picture pete rose in my mind, i think of tom sizemore and the ridiculous haircut he had in that movie. then i remember, pete rose looks like this. and this. so, i guess it's justified. off-field issues aside, pete rose is one of the greatest hitters who ever lived, switch hitter or not. he had 10 seasons where he had 200 or more hits and 3 other seasons where he had 192 hits or more. his team won 3 world series out of the 6 that he played in [even bringing a title to the city of philadelphia, which is notable because that city is cursed]. even though pete only had 160 home runs [but if steroids were more popular back then, that number could be double], he finished his career with over 4,000[!] hits. eventually, as we all know, pete rose's reputation would slowly deteriorate with gambling problems and being banned from baseball and whatnot, but without that, it probably would not have led to this glorious moment in time.

the mother of top 10 lists

life is to be categorized and pondered as much as it is to be lived. without any reflection of what we are doing and experiencing, life is merely a series of fleeting events in time with no value except at that singular moment.

naturally, the best and only method to place any semblance of order in life is by way of top 10 lists. only a top 10 list can provide deep insights into a person's soul in so few words; their magnificence is only matched by their brevity. with that in mind, this space is not strictly limited to top 10 lists, but other nuggets [no, not butt nuggets] of wisdom as well.

the following inaugural list's topic has caused a riotous stir for numerous generations. i'm pretty sure nations have gone to war over this subject. and even though there has been a healthy amount of endless debates and casualties, it is with good reason: it is without a doubt the most important topic ever.

without further ado, these are the top 10 songs of all time.

1. everlong [foo fighters]
2. stairway to heaven [led zeppelin]
3. riders on the storm [the doors]
4. motorcycle drive by [third eye blind]
5. like a rolling stone [bob dylan]
6. paint it black [the rolling stones]
7. comfortably numb [pink floyd]
8. bohemian rhapsody [queen]
9. hotel california [the eagles]
10. a letter to elise [the cure]

if you have any disagreements with my list, feel free to post your own [inferior] top 10 list [or any comments in general], although i don't really know how anyone could possibly choose any differently after breathing in this list.